You Can Advocate for Change and Work with People Who Disagree
With all the division and chaos around us, how are we to support clients with an open heart? How do we maintain our integrity while fostering a space where clients feel safe to explore their own beliefs—especially when they differ from ours?
Activism and therapeutic alliance are not mutually exclusive. The And Way™ promotes using dialectics to hold both conviction and curiosity, both personal values and deep listening. Therapists can absolutely commit to both justice and compassion with those who vote differently than them.
Does this mean that you have to be neutral when it comes to your moral compass or political beliefs? Absolutely not, but it does mean that you can embody the very skills we promote—emotional regulation in difficult conversations, an ability to sit with discomfort, and a willingness to engage rather than avoid potential triggers.
Holding Complexity in Therapy: The And Way™
I have many clients in deep turmoil with family members over how they voted. I have clients married to partners that voted for the opposite party and feel embarrassed to tell their friends. Then I have clients that genuinely feel angry and hopeless every time they turn on the news. These relationship issues and emotional strife are important to address in therapy.
Being a mental health provider in a polarized world requires us to hold tension:
We can advocate for justice and show dignity to clients that do not.
We can empathize with our clients' feelings without endorsing their behaviors.
When we lean into The And Way™, we resist the urge to simplify the world into good or bad, right or wrong, for or against. Instead, we create space for healing, integration, and growth.
If we can model the skill of holding complexity, we might just help our clients—and our communities—heal.
Therapeutic Strategies When We Face Controversy in Session
Use curiosity to approach your client’s perspective.
“Can you tell me more about how you got there?”
“Where did that feeling of fear come from?”
Validate their emotions and offer reflective listening without endorsing harmful ideas.
"It sounds like you’ve had experiences that left you feeling unimportant or dismissed."
"You really value loyalty to your family and your political party. That is really important to you."
We need to have our eyes peeled for countertransference when our clients hold differing views. We can use self-regulation in response to any personal tension that comes up in response to something a client says that we disagree with. Don’t forget to take the opportunity to consult with other therapists to unpack your own biases. Every mental health professional has certainly encountered a client that sees the world differently, and many have experienced a client saying something offensive or deeply upsetting. Do not feel pressured to engage in a conversation that feels unsafe or re-traumatizing. Your boundaries matter, and they may look different from mine. Be sure to establish boundaries with your clients when a conversation becomes harmful.
Some therapists may:
choose to set firmer limits
disengage from certain conversations
or refer clients elsewhere if needed
There is no one-size-fits-all approach. Ultimately, promoting dignity and respect toward our clients should be offered in both directions.
I can be a curious, respectful therapist and I can request assertively that they not use rhetoric that is harmful.
Support for Therapists Doing This Work
Navigating these layered, often emotionally charged dynamics in the therapy room isn’t easy—and you don’t have to do it alone. That’s why I’ve developed ongoing workshops designed to offer a supportive, skills-based space where therapists can grow in confidence, competence, and connection.
Join me for my next virtual workshop on Friday, March 28th, from 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM (CST). In this BHEC-approved 3-hour ethics CEU training, you’ll gain evidence-based tools to manage internal tension, improve conflict resolution, and work across differences with empathy and clarity.
BONUS: Tell a friend and get rewarded!
If they register and enter your name and email at checkout, you’ll receive a $20 Starbucks gift card. There's no limit—earn one for every friend who signs up!*
*The referred person must be a new participant. The referred friend MUST enter your name & email at checkout for you to qualify. The gift card will be sent within 5 business days after verification. No self-referrals. No limit—earn $20 for Starbucks for every friend who signs up! Starbucks is not affiliated with this program.
